CATS - not quite what I expected

I must admit, what with all the rave reviews and high praises, I was expecting a production that was vibrant, full of colour, bright, cheerful, exciting and with a fascinating set that changed with each song.

To sum it up, I was probably expecting a feline version of "Chang and Eng". Needless to say, I was therefore very disappointed.

Firstly, I found the very start of the musical a complete turn off. The music was too loud, the lights too flashy and yet were able to completely mask and obscure the stage in darkness and shadow. I found myself squinting very hard against the dim lighting on stage while the cats came in to prance around and dance. I am not sure if the performers are aware, but when the lights are turned down suddenly, people tend to need at approx 5 mins for their eyes to adjust to the darkness.... the floodlights in the eyes of the audience definitely did not help the temporal night blindness.

It was all highly interactive with the cats dancing on the parapets and coming up close and personal with the audience (I was after all in the Cat A foyer stalls so I did get a rather good view). However, I had at the very least expected some semblence of a story line, considering that Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote such a fantastic musical for Phantom of the Opera.

Unfortunately, CATS can basically be summarised into one sentence: A bunch of cats hoping to be the chosen one.

In between, every one was just taking turns to sing and dance as a way of introducing themselves. Of course, as expected, the underdog or undercat in this case, always wins... thus poor ugly, unwanted and abused Grisabella gets to be chosen... so what's new right?

Unlike 'Chang and Eng' which was presented with many smooth transitions from one scene to another, with a great many touching and tear wrenching moment, not to mention the unforgettable "Mai Pen Rai"... the only thing that came close to being a little bit moving was when Grisabella sang "Memory"...

The thing was, having heard the voice of someone like Susan Boyle.... the performer who played Grisabella was a poor excuse for a singer.... I bet Susan Boyle would have done a much better job playing the said role. This singer had too weak a voice which could hardly stir the emotions, plaintive as she may have tried to sound. I don't know the name of this lady, but she's definitely no Elaine Paige.

To be fair, I did read about CATS online before I decided to attend this evening's performance. I knew from the start not to expect much of a story line and I definitely understood that the story (or rather the lack of) surrounded a bunch of self-important cats hoping to be chosen to be reborn into the Heavyside Layer for a better life.

My question however is, if the Heavyside Layer was so fantastic, why doesn't old Deutronomy go himself instead of choosing someone every year to go? Also, the story doesn't tell us if any of those who previously went did come back to reveal what those wonders in the Heavyside Layer were.

I dunno, but the word "reborn" makes me a little bit skeptical. This Heavyside Layer sounds more like a hell to me than any heavenly wonder.... I bet the Heavyside Layer is probably in fact some Cat slaughter house which explains why no one ever came back to talk about it... Something like "The Island" or the "Pig's Heaven" in Charlotte's Web.

Anyway, if you are someone who just wants to sit in the theatre and not think of anything but just sit down and watch a bunch of humans pretending to be mostly faceless/nameless cats to entertain you with forgettable song after forgettable song and with hardly any conversation in between, then CATS is definitely for you.

Else, if you are like me who needs a story line to captivate you with some intelligent dialog, moving scenery and clear distinctions between the actors punctuated with some unforgettable classic songs, then I suggest to give CATS a miss.